Silence is golden

I've met people who assume that because I tend to be a quiet person that I am either disinterested or unfriendly, or both. I suppose that in certain cases, either can be true, but usually they are not. As for being disinterested, it's quite the contrary. I'm usually very interested, but I sometimes tend to observe a situation rather than interact in it. Doing so allows me to "get a feeling for people." Yes, preconceived notions can be wrong and inappropriate, but honestly, in my experience these notions are usually not far off the mark. And as for being unfriendly, isn't just possible to having nothing to say?

People have a problem with nothing. Nothing to say, nothing to do. It's like everyone has a case of ADD. Personally, I could sit and not say a word for days. I like to watch people, I like to observe situations. Years ago I was preparing for a cross country trip, and several people commented that I would be bored to death going alone. Five entire days lacking direct human contact, other than hotel desk clerks. Well, I had one of the greatest times of my life. Stayed at hotels alone, ate breakfast lunch and dinner alone, explored new cities alone. Sometimes nothing is ok. Nothing to do relieves stress, unless of course there are important things to be done, in which case you should just do them. Having nothing to say simply makes you an observer, an act that more people should learn.

I have always had strong feelings about this. I believe that people who talk for the sake of talking are self centered and in some way, consciously or not, seeking approval, and are even quite possibly insecure. The people in my life whose company I've come to enjoy most are those I can spend time with without feeling as though I need to talk. It is true also that with silence comes a level of comfort and understanding, a realization that things can be enjoyed as they are. It should be noted that there is of course a difference between engaging in a meaningful conversation and talking for the sole purpose of talking.

Being quiet is an underrated quality. In a group setting, it's usually obvious who enjoys taking things in and observing the situation, and who needs to just talk, regardless of whether or not it's meaningless blather streaming out their mouth. It often seems that the people who have the most interesting things to talk about or the most intelligent things to say are the ones that you can never get to share them. In this regard it's as the ancient Lao Tse supposedly said, "Those who know, do not speak. Those who speak, do not know."

After all this, I have to admit that I am often guilty of these things myself. There are times when I find myself rambling about something with no particular direction, and there are times when I tend to spew facts I've just learned, usually to someone who could care less about them. In these situations I have to remind myself to stop. In fact, it seems like I'm beginning to ramble with no particular direction right now...