Growing older but not up?
Why does growing older and taking on more responsibility seem so boring? Does it really have to be that way? It seems like with each day that goes by, I wonder more and more what the big payoff is. Granted, I'm 26, I have a lot ahead of me. But I find myself more often than I'd like saying things like, "Nope, gotta work that day" or "nah, gotta get up in the morning."
I'm not talking about wanting to live a reckless life and drink and party all night, I'm just wondering why things have to become so structured and rigid? I'll be the first to admit it, I've never been the most spontaneous person. I've always been on the responsible side of things. I mean, I've done some stupid stuff and been in some situations when I was younger that weren't probably the smartest, but I always came out on the right side. But does life have to become so structured? Is it possible to live in the corporate world, working, owning a home, and the like, but still get out and be adventurous and push the limits a little?
The societal norm seems to say that once you've hit your mid to late 20s, the fun is over. At that point you should have your job, your marriage, a home, and thoughts of kids. It also becomes looked down upon to not have those things, or at least the job/career aspect. I think the biggest killer is the structure of a job. When you're pushing 30, if you don't have some or all of those things, thoughts start circling... Am I falling behind?
My girlfriend and I have been talking about wanting to take off and travel a few years from now, but the other night she said, "You know, I've been thinking about that whole traveling thing, it might not be the best idea... It might put us behind too much." For the most part I agree with her. But then I ask myself, falling behind what? The standard that society has laid upon us all that almost single handedly destroys any hope of enjoying ourselves and living an enjoyable life?
When I was in college, I had fun, I did some traveling, I didn't worry about very much stuff. Then I went into the working world, and it seems that some things declined. Admittedly, I am different, I'm older, I have different goals, desires, thresholds, etc. But they shouldn't affect my ability to enjoy life. Of course I wouldn't enjoy drinking until 2AM or sitting in a bar for 8 consecutive hours, but that's not what I mean. It seems like the so called "real world" has dulled me and taken away some of my motivation, the very things that make life interesting. Why do we all worry so much about work, but not about the quality of our own lives? I know not all people are like this, but many are. They (we) suffer (ok, it's not that bad) through 40 hours of sitting in a cubicle, only to make it to the weekend which is only long enough to forget about work just in time for it to be there again. Five years ago I would take off for the weekend and find myself a world away, now I think about all the things I should stay home and do during those two days...
I don't wish to forgo a "normal" life. I have a girlfriend, I want to get married, I want to own a home, I want to raise a family. But I don't want to stop having fun. I want to live a life that I can look back on and not wonder where the time went. Can I have my cake and eat it too?
I'm not talking about wanting to live a reckless life and drink and party all night, I'm just wondering why things have to become so structured and rigid? I'll be the first to admit it, I've never been the most spontaneous person. I've always been on the responsible side of things. I mean, I've done some stupid stuff and been in some situations when I was younger that weren't probably the smartest, but I always came out on the right side. But does life have to become so structured? Is it possible to live in the corporate world, working, owning a home, and the like, but still get out and be adventurous and push the limits a little?
The societal norm seems to say that once you've hit your mid to late 20s, the fun is over. At that point you should have your job, your marriage, a home, and thoughts of kids. It also becomes looked down upon to not have those things, or at least the job/career aspect. I think the biggest killer is the structure of a job. When you're pushing 30, if you don't have some or all of those things, thoughts start circling... Am I falling behind?
My girlfriend and I have been talking about wanting to take off and travel a few years from now, but the other night she said, "You know, I've been thinking about that whole traveling thing, it might not be the best idea... It might put us behind too much." For the most part I agree with her. But then I ask myself, falling behind what? The standard that society has laid upon us all that almost single handedly destroys any hope of enjoying ourselves and living an enjoyable life?
When I was in college, I had fun, I did some traveling, I didn't worry about very much stuff. Then I went into the working world, and it seems that some things declined. Admittedly, I am different, I'm older, I have different goals, desires, thresholds, etc. But they shouldn't affect my ability to enjoy life. Of course I wouldn't enjoy drinking until 2AM or sitting in a bar for 8 consecutive hours, but that's not what I mean. It seems like the so called "real world" has dulled me and taken away some of my motivation, the very things that make life interesting. Why do we all worry so much about work, but not about the quality of our own lives? I know not all people are like this, but many are. They (we) suffer (ok, it's not that bad) through 40 hours of sitting in a cubicle, only to make it to the weekend which is only long enough to forget about work just in time for it to be there again. Five years ago I would take off for the weekend and find myself a world away, now I think about all the things I should stay home and do during those two days...
I don't wish to forgo a "normal" life. I have a girlfriend, I want to get married, I want to own a home, I want to raise a family. But I don't want to stop having fun. I want to live a life that I can look back on and not wonder where the time went. Can I have my cake and eat it too?
2 Comments:
At 9:10 PM, portuguesa nova said…
I couldn't agree more...this age is an odd transitional phase that no one publicly acknowledges--I wonder if what comes next is so hectic and busy that you forget about it. All I know is that I hate it. I miss the vitality and general openness to the world I used to have.
At 6:21 AM, Anonymous said…
You are only 26! But I know what you mean, there are many who feel the way you do. I am 30 and single and often have some of the same feelings you do, but "falling behind what?" is exactly the question I asked myself and realized that what society might suggest I should be doing is not necessarily what is right for me at this time. The house and hubby and kids can all still come later, if it is meant to be. I hope you and your girlfriend can figure out a way to see some of the world while still saving for the other things you both want for the future. Maybe you can't go travel as long as you like, but you could make some compromises and still do what you desire. - lostgal
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