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I am stuck in a (new) office, recently married, laid back, seeking adventure, and dreaming about life in a far away land
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Name: Russ
Location: San Diego, California, United States

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Monday, April 10, 2006

Been doing some thinking

So I've been doing some thinking lately, and as usual, I don't think it's gotten me very far. For those of you who follow my blog at all, you know I got a new job recently. And while I like it better than my previous job, it's much more work and more responsibility, but with a smaller and more informal company. I realize now that changing a jobs wasn't a fix to my unhappiness, rather it was just a patch while I look for the cure.

Don't mistake me... I'm not unhappy. I'm actually a very happy person, and well liked at work and valued there (I'm assuming at least). I'm also very happy with my personal life. I think the problem is that I feel restless, like I should be doing more with my life. I see all this bullshit in the news, and deep down inside I just feel like working a job like mine is so superficial. I work for an internet travel company, and while interesting, really it doesn't do a damn thing to change the state of the world. I suppose it's better than working for some massive corporate beast, at least I can trace the path of money through my company. But still, I feel like it's a dead end road.

I have a degree in computer science, and lately I've been thinking that maybe that isn't the right path. I find myself constantly daydreaming about new places and traveling and just plain not working. So I think ultimately I need to find work that fulfills me inside. I need to be able to come home from work and sit down and think, "wow, what a great day, I feel really good about what I did today." I mean now I can come home feeling good about what I accomplished each day, but it doesn't warm me from the inside. Really it's just a means to pay the bills.

Anyone else feel this way? And more importantly, anyone else feel this way and actually done something about it? The reality is at this point in my life I need a steady paycheck of a decent amount. I need a way to combine what I'm good at with what makes me feel good about my place in the world. Ahhhhhh.

2 Comments:

  • At 1:42 PM, green LA girl said…

    I feel that way often, and am stuck in the pondering stage.

    I hate the thought of working in general. I also have the tendency to find something interesting for just a few months, then completely lose interest and revert back to a rather depressive state once the novelty wears off.

    The thought of working a desk job -- or any kind of job where I can't do something else whenever I please -- any job with "obligations" -- frightens me...

    But for you -- What about working for an eco travel company? Might that be an avenue you might find fulfilling?

     
  • At 1:17 PM, Anonymous said…

    There's a support group for people who feel the way you do, Russ. They're called EVERYBODY and they meet at the local bars for Happy Hour every Friday.

    Good post. Keep thinking, keep writing and keep sharing.

    --Shabig

     

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