An Update
Well, I haven't really written about this topic lately, but I did allude to it in one post where I was saying I felt helpless. I guess for my 1 faithful reader (?) I will explain my situation and what I was alluding too.
I am separated from my wife and will likely be getting divorced.
I never thought that I would be a 28 year old divorcee. But I suppose I will have to get over that one. It's strange, I mean it sucks, the person who I spent the past 5 years with will not be there with me anymore. That is hard. But we have done a lot of talking and have decided that all things considered we will be better off separate. I am trying to look at the bright side, that now I have the opportunity to live on my own terms, and do all the things I've wanted to do without having to consider anyone else.
This is why I have been writing recently about my disinterest with my job. I mean, for the immediate near term I want to keep the job, save some money, but I am really trying to figure out what I want to do. Now that my ties to California will be gone, it's a big world out there.
It's starting to hit me that though I've been in CA for 7 years, my life became centered around my wife because she has family in SoCal. And over the years my friends have slowly moved away. So now I'm realizing that I'm a long way from home, and basically have no friends to speak of. I mean, I've got work people, but don't really want to hang out with them outside of work. I've been asked if I'm thinking about moving back east ... And my answer is no. I know a lot of people when presented with this situation will go back to what is familiar. But I don't want to do that. I mean on the one hand, I feel like I grew away from most of my east coast friends because of being out here and being in a relationship, but on the other hand, it wasn't because I was doing the typical "guy meets girl forgets friends" thing, it was a conscious decision. I love my friends, but I guess while I am still friends with them, I don't want to go back and live the lives that they've settled for.
I have talked about it over and over in my blog, and I'll say it again, I really feel like there is something out there for me. Some passion, some life, some adventure that I will find. And maybe getting separted from my wife is just another push in that direction?
I am separated from my wife and will likely be getting divorced.
I never thought that I would be a 28 year old divorcee. But I suppose I will have to get over that one. It's strange, I mean it sucks, the person who I spent the past 5 years with will not be there with me anymore. That is hard. But we have done a lot of talking and have decided that all things considered we will be better off separate. I am trying to look at the bright side, that now I have the opportunity to live on my own terms, and do all the things I've wanted to do without having to consider anyone else.
This is why I have been writing recently about my disinterest with my job. I mean, for the immediate near term I want to keep the job, save some money, but I am really trying to figure out what I want to do. Now that my ties to California will be gone, it's a big world out there.
It's starting to hit me that though I've been in CA for 7 years, my life became centered around my wife because she has family in SoCal. And over the years my friends have slowly moved away. So now I'm realizing that I'm a long way from home, and basically have no friends to speak of. I mean, I've got work people, but don't really want to hang out with them outside of work. I've been asked if I'm thinking about moving back east ... And my answer is no. I know a lot of people when presented with this situation will go back to what is familiar. But I don't want to do that. I mean on the one hand, I feel like I grew away from most of my east coast friends because of being out here and being in a relationship, but on the other hand, it wasn't because I was doing the typical "guy meets girl forgets friends" thing, it was a conscious decision. I love my friends, but I guess while I am still friends with them, I don't want to go back and live the lives that they've settled for.
I have talked about it over and over in my blog, and I'll say it again, I really feel like there is something out there for me. Some passion, some life, some adventure that I will find. And maybe getting separted from my wife is just another push in that direction?
2 Comments:
At 8:59 AM, green LA girl said…
Wow -- This really comes as a surprise! Best of luck in the transition --
At 5:16 PM, Grace said…
Wow. Separating is never an easy thing to do, much less with someone you've been with for so long. But you seem to have come around to a really positive perspective on this - you're right, it IS a big world out there with so many opportunities! I wish you luck in finding the ultimate fulfillment in every aspect of life.
I know a lot of people when presented with this situation will go back to what is familiar. But I don't want to do that. >> This is fantastic, by the way. I've always been the sort myself to choose the option I haven't experienced yet. Life is more interesting this way! I applaud your courage.
Post a Comment
<< Home