A familiar street

He approached the beach and gave his legs a break from peddling, allowing a moment to enjoy the cool and gentle breeze which flowed through his sun drenched hair. The smell of saltwater was in the air as the worn tires of his old bike rolled over the cracked concrete, producing a slightly noticeable whir. Occasionally he glanced up at the swaying palm trees that stretched towards the sky, which still didn't seem real. The streets were familiar, and the scene no different, but the experience was always new. With a grand imagination it could easily be anyone's first time.

Later as he sat in the sand time stood still, and with the backdrop of ever present waves, memories were made. The far away clouds hung over the mysterious blue water, grey and dreary, but the sun still shone overhead. When he was there, it was all just a moment. But time has no bounds, and everything etched itself into the past. Though tomorrow was an eternity away, eventually things started to move, and with the right memories it is all recalled as he rides down a familiar street and glances up at the swaying palm trees stretching towards the sky, which still at times don't seem real.

Some people are too happy

There are some people that just seem too happy. They appear to be perpetually optimistic, and I usually see them strolling around wearing big goofy smiles, always seeming to be have some degree of concern and interest in how I'm doing. I give them a smile and say "hello", which somehow becomes an invitation for them to engage me in a brief dialog. They ask how things are going, and I, in as nice a way as possible, complete the exchange. I smile, walk away, and wonder. And so the day goes in a series of these seemingly meaningless yet somehow necessary sets of interactions.

Some people are genuinely happy, truly concerned, and to all ends just good people. They find good in most everything. But can a person really be happy all the time? Perhaps everyone should be ruffled by something from time to time. At least it forces some degree of consideration. It might even be beneficial for everyone in the long run.

Simple living and unused telephone booths

The idea of simple living has always been appealing to me. Something about living a pure and simple life just seems so unburdened. I bet that most of the time that people spend cleaning and organizing their homes could better be described as finding places to put useless crap. I've experienced it in the past. Organizing stuff that I can't remember the last time I used and putting it somewhere to ensure that I won't have to go through the same thing again. Usually it is a perfectly good waste of space and time; time that could more enjoyably be spent doing anything, perhaps even nothing.

I'm not talking about the never bathing and walking around barefoot kind of simple, but just living within my means and not accumulating unnecessary and useless stuff. Even in my own moderately frugal way of life, from time to time I decide that there's something I must have, and eventually I justify it and end up buying it. And usually it just ends of being something I really could have done without.

Here in Southern California, many people have a hobby that they like to call shopping. Those who approach life in this fashion (pun intended) usually are in no ways happier, are broke all the time, and for that still really don't have anything that cool. So what does it accomplish? Beats me. Apparently it fulfills their immediate need for gratification which usually doesn't produce any sort of benefit in either the short or long term.

The other day I started reading a book about voluntary simplicity, and the most important thing I've learned so far about simple living in modern Western society is to not deny yourself a material existence, but instead to remove needless distractions, excess clutter, and complication. Doing so allows a greater degree of focus on other important things, in turn leading to a more conscious and deliberate lifestyle.

As people yearn for more in the way of material goods, financial prosperity, and success, as they chase their version of the "American Dream", they find that it is unattainable, and they lose sight of what is important, becoming psychologically and spiritually hollow. Their success ultimately becomes their demise.

I found a quote from Gandhi which says, "As long as you derive inner help and comfort from anything, you should keep it. If you were to give it up in a mood of self sacrifice or out of a stern sense of duty, you would continue to want it back, and the unsatisfied want would make trouble for you. Only give up a thing when you want some other condition so much that the thing no longer has any attraction for you." Sounds like good words to live by.

On another note, today I drove by a parking lot with two telephone booths in it. Both were in use and someone was actually waiting for one. I didn't think anyone used phone booths anymore.

A blog about blogging

I was thinking today about what the appeal of a blog is. I've always toyed with the idea of starting one in the past, but it seemed like it would just be a lot of extra work. So far though, I've already been more successful with this than any previous journal attempt.

I think that writing allows me to harness my thoughts, and gives a certain focus to them that otherwise likely wouldn't be there. Most of the time, I typically keep my thoughts closely guarded, and I think part of the allure is that in writing they can be let out. Some of them at least. It is a place to give my thoughts an anonymous voice, and where no judgement can be passed, or at least none that will affect me.

The thought of someone somewhere reading what I write and relating to it is satifying. Of course I'm only surmising all this based on my own feelings. I'm sure everyone has different reasons.

We're not put in the world to suffer

A good friend of mine has told me we're not put in the world to suffer. I believe that. This friend of mine certainly practices what he preaches. He hasn't "worked" in over a year. But he lives a normal life, nothing extravagant, but no denial of anything either. He worked hard through college, did a bit of traveling, and spent the few years after college working his butt off. And now he just doesn't work. He must do something for money, I just haven't fully figured it out yet.

Life isn't bad. But people in our American society seem to make it that way. For how much things have advanced, both in comparison to our society 50 or 100 years ago, and to other societies, things don't seem to be getting better. People are still getting sick and dying, people live lives of depression and uselessness. And most of us have the nerve to look at other countries and say how those people live such sad lives. They would be considered financially poor, but they are happy. Doesn't really make sense does it? I watch those National Geographic shows featuring different tribes, and those people are happy as can be. Their lives have meaning.

The thing that eludes me is how to live a life of complete and total happiness. Even though they say money doesn't buy happiness, to an extent it does. You couldn't live in our America without any money. I guess you could, but then you are denying yourself of some of the few and basic human needs. I don't think being homeless is a viable option. So the fact remains, you need at least some sort of minimal income to sustain any level of happiness. And I don't see our society regressing back to farmers and traders who have no concern for monetary gain, and only make consumable goods and trade for what they need.

I've said before, I'm not against working. Working is good for the soul. But for it to be good for the soul, you must enjoy what it is that you do. I've also said that I like what I do, which really means that I like using utilizing my talents. It makes me feel good, and it's satisfying to be productive. But sitting in a cubicle having superiors checking the clock to make sure I'm putting in my time makes all those good feelings go away. I need to find a new job where I feel like I'm doing something, and when there's a day where I just want to relax, they will let me, knowing that I'll make up for it later. That's what it should be about. People need to feel fulfilled, not used.

I like being productive

I feel good when I'm doing things. When I'm bored at work, it makes the day drag. I like projects, and I like when I'm challenged and can sit and plug away, only to look at the clock and realize my day is already half over. Summer is the slow time at my company. Of course there's always "busy work," but without direction and without deadlines it allows me to slack to my heart's content, since nothing is really expected to immediately get done.

Most people complain about work, and I'm guilty too. But I don't complain about working, I just complain about the work environment and attitude in general. I've always said, I'm not against working, I just wish I had more flexibility. People at work always complain about getting work assigned to them, sometimes I do too, but only for fun. Really I would like to just tell them to shut up and do it. Sometimes I'm tempted to ask for their assignments.

People are always drowning in work. I don't get it. Even during the busiest time of the year at work which I've always heard horror stories about, I never with a few exceptions felt overloaded. I always get things done in a timely fashion.

I don't understand either when people talk about "job security." I've talked about that in the past, how people get so used to their jobs that they fear losing them. You've always heard of people who throw trash on the ground and say, "Oh it's job security for the city workers." I was talking to someone at work telling them how I thought it would suck to be one of the people whose jobs it is to maintain old computer code in an obsolete computer language. Not analysis in preparation for an upgrade, just fixing bugs and making sure things continue working. He said it's good job security. That's what I'm talking about. Settling to do crappy brainless work. I think if someone is that afraid of the prospect of moving forward because of the thought of working themselves out of their job, it's kind of sad.

I'm not trying to be judgemental, since I know some people are forced into jobs they dislike due to circumstances out of their control. These aren't the people I'm talking about. I know others suffer through jobs because they know ultimately it's in their best interest. At least these people know there are other things to come. Compromising is ok if you know what you're compromising and why you're doing it.

Sometimes I wish I would get laid off or fired because it would force me to move on. Everyone is guilty of that sort of thing. Needing to move on but putting it off because things are comfortable. I don't really want to get fired, but having an excuse to do something new is good. Being forced to do so makes you work things out. And they usually always end up just fine.

I'm not really a writer

I'm not much of a writer.

It seems like everyone has one of these blogs though, and I enjoy reading them, and doing so usually inspires me. So maybe I should give it a shot. Maybe it will change something inside of me.

Recently I found a site called www.chasingeden.com. I don't know the guy who writes it, but his name is Elliott and he writes about a lot of different stuff, and it all interests me. He started it as a travel journal I believe, some time during his traveling around 5 continents. The point is that what he writes is very powerful if you are the right audience, which I guess I am, since it inspired me to write this letter, and also to rejuvenate myself with this blog. One of his major goals is "promoting self-development, the value of good people, and work as a statement of purpose." All things which make perfect sense to me. I believe that I am a person who needs this type of inspiration. More on that later. He also wants to "create alternatives for the tens of millions of underemployed, disaffected, and chronically frustrated who will not make an effort in life because they do not believe it is worth it." Again, something that could help me, not that I am any of those things, but nonetheless.

Since this is my first post, a bit of background. I am 25, live in San Diego with my girlfriend who is also my best friend and who I want to spend my life with, and I have a decent job. Sounds good, huh? Well it is.

I have gotten to do enough traveling and seen enough things (not much traveling and not many things, but more than most people I think) to realize that there is more than most people think there is in life. This is the reason that I live 3000 miles away from where I grew up. I saw an alternative. And now I'm here, and 3 1/2 years later, I see more.

After graduating from college with a degree in Computer Science, I was in a good position to more forward, which I did. At the same time, I started to lose some of the drive to experience new things. I got comfortable with my life as it was, thinking I was just growing up. And I was, and still am. But now my girlfriend and I both see more. We have decided that in time we will leave San Diego and move abroad. Probably to Italy. Time will tell.

About 6 months ago, I read something which made some of the drive I just mentioned start to resurface. I became interested in travel again. I started wanting more. So I created a website called Worlds Revealed. It was an outlet for me to satisfy some of my desire to travel, which I think is more of a desire to learn about new people and new cultures. We'll see how that works out.

So back to Elliott and Chasing Eden. Reading this resurfaced this inspiration again. I believe I am someone who could use a work alternative. I "work" 40 hours a week, and although definately not overworked, I could use some more time, not to be lazy, but to be me. I keep myself busy just fine. The problem is that what I am good at in some ways does match who I am. I am a software engineer, and although I actually do really enjoy computers and software and such, my current job really isn't fulfilling, and I could probably get the work I do over the course of the week done in half the time in exchange for time off. I also think most people could. But I like the security. If I could do what I do, but in a situation where I was fulfilling my own need to be productive, it would be ideal. I'm not against work, in fact I would probably be bored without it. I just wish it were more on my own terms. But I understand most companies have their own agendas and needs, and changing their role would compromise their own success. I think this is what Elliott means.

One of the problems I have is that I like my solitude and I like my security. I like my alone time. I am also a quiet person, and by nature not a risk taker. So all the things I would love to do, like join a volunteer group or meet other people like me or find a better job, I don't do. Not because I am lazy, but because I do things like what I'm doing right now. I undertake new projects (like this blog or my website), I read, I learn. And I also don't want to fall behind. I've worked hard to get where I am, so a new job would not only have to offer more mentally, but be a better overall opportunity. I'm very happy now, and although I could use more in the way of work, I don't want less.

Well I've written quite a bit, so I'll stop. We'll see if these feelings continue. I hope I don't let the inspiration leave me, which is why I'm starting this blog. When I write things it kind of sets them in my head more than if they are just left as thoughts.