Continuation of post from the other day

This is more complaining on my behalf in relation to my previous post.

What causes people to lose their motivation and their desire for excitement as they get older? Does it simply have to do with getting older and becoming more mature and responsible, or is it directly related to having been in the working world longer? I think it is the latter.

I think the routine of going in to an office day in and day out numbs people in a way and makes then lose touch with who they are and what they really want out of life. I know this doesn't apply to all people, some thrive on this sort of environment, but others seem to just grow old and indifferent, having accepted this as simply the way things must be. I am scared for that to become me.

But I do know for a fact that although I am not unhappy, becoming a "working man" has subtly changed me. I am certainly more mature and like where I am in my life, but I have begun to realize that I am too comfortable with not being comfortable. I'm searching for a way to make a compromise to myself. Maybe it's as simple as a new job. But I don't think that will cut it. I've said in a previous post that I'm not against working. I just don't like the monotony of office life and the boring people I have to deal with. I don't think work should consume people and dictate how they live their life. It should give a sense of accomplishment and make them feel good for being productive, not be a burden on them. I'm willing to work, and I'm willing to work hard, but I also want to have time to reap the benefits of having worked hard, and I don't want to wait until I'm 65 (or 67 or 70). I read these incredible websites and blogs of other people who are out traveling the world or sitting on some remote beach, actually living their lives exactly the way they want to, and to me that is just incredible. They have it figured out. But it comes back to money and sacrifice. I know that the nomadic life isn't for me either, especially since I have a girlfriend and want a home and a family someday.

The thing that I know for sure is that 2 weeks of vacation per year is not nearly enough, not for me and not for anyone else. I want to live each day being passionate about what I am doing, regardless of what it is. Sitting in a cubicle like a character in "Office Space" doesn't do it for me. If anyone has a solution, I'd love to hear it.

Growing older but not up?

Why does growing older and taking on more responsibility seem so boring? Does it really have to be that way? It seems like with each day that goes by, I wonder more and more what the big payoff is. Granted, I'm 26, I have a lot ahead of me. But I find myself more often than I'd like saying things like, "Nope, gotta work that day" or "nah, gotta get up in the morning."

I'm not talking about wanting to live a reckless life and drink and party all night, I'm just wondering why things have to become so structured and rigid? I'll be the first to admit it, I've never been the most spontaneous person. I've always been on the responsible side of things. I mean, I've done some stupid stuff and been in some situations when I was younger that weren't probably the smartest, but I always came out on the right side. But does life have to become so structured? Is it possible to live in the corporate world, working, owning a home, and the like, but still get out and be adventurous and push the limits a little?

The societal norm seems to say that once you've hit your mid to late 20s, the fun is over. At that point you should have your job, your marriage, a home, and thoughts of kids. It also becomes looked down upon to not have those things, or at least the job/career aspect. I think the biggest killer is the structure of a job. When you're pushing 30, if you don't have some or all of those things, thoughts start circling... Am I falling behind?

My girlfriend and I have been talking about wanting to take off and travel a few years from now, but the other night she said, "You know, I've been thinking about that whole traveling thing, it might not be the best idea... It might put us behind too much." For the most part I agree with her. But then I ask myself, falling behind what? The standard that society has laid upon us all that almost single handedly destroys any hope of enjoying ourselves and living an enjoyable life?

When I was in college, I had fun, I did some traveling, I didn't worry about very much stuff. Then I went into the working world, and it seems that some things declined. Admittedly, I am different, I'm older, I have different goals, desires, thresholds, etc. But they shouldn't affect my ability to enjoy life. Of course I wouldn't enjoy drinking until 2AM or sitting in a bar for 8 consecutive hours, but that's not what I mean. It seems like the so called "real world" has dulled me and taken away some of my motivation, the very things that make life interesting. Why do we all worry so much about work, but not about the quality of our own lives? I know not all people are like this, but many are. They (we) suffer (ok, it's not that bad) through 40 hours of sitting in a cubicle, only to make it to the weekend which is only long enough to forget about work just in time for it to be there again. Five years ago I would take off for the weekend and find myself a world away, now I think about all the things I should stay home and do during those two days...

I don't wish to forgo a "normal" life. I have a girlfriend, I want to get married, I want to own a home, I want to raise a family. But I don't want to stop having fun. I want to live a life that I can look back on and not wonder where the time went. Can I have my cake and eat it too?

Which place would you rather be?

Some interesting photos from the weekend.

Here is a photo I took this weekend while hiking. Elevation 1300 feet. About 10-15 miles from the coast. (btw, it wasn't that green, i'm not sure why it looks so bright)


Here is a photo my dad took this weekend from the garage of my parents' house in Connecticut.


Here is a random photo I took of a rock stuck in a tree due to flooding after massive rains several weeks ago.

Freedom is on the march!

Well, everywhere but here that is. Our good ol' president, mr g.w.bush, is dead set on spreading freedom throughout the world. He must be so preoccupied with this spread of freedom that he forgot about his own country. He wants everyone to see how he can make the Iraqis free, and how he's going to squash tyranny, but every day our freedoms here at home are being taken away. Right now if he had it his way, a woman wouldn't even be able to choose what to do to her own body, yet the Iraqis must get a taste of this oh so good freedom. A man can't marry his boyfriend, so I guess the rest of the world is ready for this freedom too. A person who chooses to hold a sign saying that they don't agree with his war gets arrested and put on probation and is guilty until proven innocent. Just like it's supposed to work right? Freedom must be the ability to get caught placing inside stock trades four times in the 80s and getting away with it each time, yet throwing Martha Stewart in jail for the same thing. Freedom must be saving a 3 week old fetus but killing 100,000 innocent civilians. Wait a minute, this doesn't sound like freedom, it sounds like HYPOCRACY!

The elections are right around the corner! Yes they are. And we're such a good country to model them after. Maybe Diebold can get in there and make a few machines for them.

I can't even continue. I'm getting so irritated just thinking about this dooshbag man/child that somehow we have voted to run our country, and apparently now it's his job to fix the world, since he's doing oh such a good job at home. Oh how I hate this f***ing sh**head guy who somehow gets a mandate.

Vespa owners are all right in my book

Yesterday morning I went to the car wash to vacuum and wash my car, and being that it was about 11:00 AM, the car wash was full. Every stall was taken, both by someone washing and someone vacuuming. As I pulled into the stall after vacuuming, I put my tokens in and began washing my car. About halfway thru, I looked over next to me, and one stall down from me there was a Vespa parked in front of the vacuum, and the proud owner standing next to it, waiting patiently for the wash. Obviously there's no interior to vacuum, and I can hardly see the point to washing it either. But he was patiently waiting his turn, and to make it even funnier to me, he had stylish circa 1983 sweatpants on.

I have to say, whenever I see someone cruising on a Vespa, wearing a helmet, maxed out at about 40 mph, I always say to myself, "Man he/she's got some balls to be cruising down the street on that thing." Anyone who can ride a Vespa day in and day out is all right in my book. I'm not being sarcastic. I really mean it. I don't have it in me to ride one of those things. And yesterday, for the first time, I got to say to myself, "Man, not only does he have the balls to pimp a Vespa, but he's got some pretty big ones to bring it to the car wash during peak hours, letting it be known to all the he's the proud owner of a beautiful bike/scooter. That guy is all right in my book.

Something big

I've been wanting to do something big lately, but I seem to never actually end up doing anything. When I say something big, I mean like run a marathon or climb a mountain or hike the Appalachian Trail or ride my bike across the country. These are all things that would give me a huge sense of accomplishment. It's kind of weird, because even though these are all physical things, I think it applies to life in general. I don't want to get older and look back and say, "I wish I have done such and such". When I read stories about people who do these things, I really admire their will and courage to take on such a task. Whether is was riding a bike around the world or dropping life as you know it to join to Peace Corps or spending 8 years on the road travelling. I want to be that person that inspires people or is looked at with admiration. People were meant to do so much more than they really do. We weren't meant to sit in cubicles 40 hours a week, and then spend another other 40 on the couch.

Well, maybe I'll get to at least one of these things someday. Unless there are any people who want to help my motivation and join me on such a venture in the near future.

Why I think religion is crazy

From what I understand, some of those who believe in Creationism rather than Evolution, have the idea that due to the mystery of this world, we as intelligent freethinking humans should not be resigned to accept that the perfection and balance of our world happened randomly, but rather that a higher power (God) has created it, as well created us. Whether they believe this all started 8000 or 30000 years ago isn't relevant to my post.

Ok, I understand that there are unanswered questions out there, and faith gives a satisfactory answer to some. Since I am thinking in particular of Catholics, I have further questions. I may be misinformed, but I understand that part of being Catholic is accepting Jesus, and so then living an upstanding life, according to the Commandments will guarantee you entry to heaven. So ok, say I killed someone and then confessed my sins and proceeded to live the "right" way for my remaining years, I'm still ok? Say from the day I was born to the day I died, I dedicated my life to the church, attended ceremonies, accepted Jesus, all that stuff, I'm good right? But if somewhere along the line I happened into a gay relationship, I'm damned to eternity in hell? So all those priests who give their life to the church, but then decide to touch little boys because they have been forbidden a normal hetero relationship, they're going to hell, right? Good. But what about their dedication to the church, was it all for naught?

As I understand it, being gay is a decision people make? Because God certainly wouldn't create a gay person. But that thinking is flawed. If he can create a handicapped person, someone with an extra arm, maybe missing a toe, or some weird defect, why can't he create someone whose internal wiring predisposes them to liking men, or women, or both?

Now I might be venturing into an area I'm not familiar with. Are animals all God's creatures? Plants? Single celled organisms? As far as I know, most aren't capable of thought and understanding, so I'm assuming they don't accept God and Jesus? Are they damned to spend eternity in hell? Maybe they don't have souls so it doesn't matter. But if they don't have souls, where is the determination of who/what has a soul? Human yes? Monkey no? What about those tribes that aren't really part of modern society. Are they screwed, because they're certainly not Christian, and I doubt they've even heard of Jesus. Are they considered human, or maybe animal? Well for sure they're going to hell.

Maybe the missionaries didn't have a chance to get to em yet.

Can someone explain it to me? This is why I believe that religion is crazy.

Several things on my mind

Our administration is a bunch fools, for many reasons. But this time I think so because I just read a news brief today saying that they believe Osama bin Laden to be in Afghanastan. Great. It took 3 years to figure that out? They seem to always "believe" he is somewhere. So why don't they go capture him? They were able to track Saddam and find him in a few short months. Which somehow was this glorious moment for everyone, even though it didn't do a damn bit of good except to allow Iraq to become worse off than it had been. By the time this stupid ass war is over the entire Iraqi country will be in shambles. And then we can go and rebuild it. Yay for us. So we get to pay for this for years to come. Millions of dollars per day. But then when the one of the worst natural disasters ever hits, those good ol' Washington guys decide that 15 million is enough to pay for it. Granted they've bumped it up quite a bit, but what a bunch of a-holes. They offer less than they're willing to spend on a daily basis for other "essential" things, like this war or Dubya's inaugural ball or whatever the hell it is. How about going to actually capture Osama rather than just "locating" him for the media.

And while I'm thinking of the tsunami disaster, what about these crazy ass people who think it was God's will to kill those people. If there is a God and he has a will to instill on people, if anything it should be to show these loopy holy rollers how idiotic they are to believe such things.