Corporate America sucks (insert word here)

I absolutely hate Corporate America. For several reasons.

About 7 months ago, my company "merged" with another company. Well, in those past 7 months, it has slowly become evident that it was more of a "takeover" than a merger. And while my company has many dedicated employees, to whom their work friends have been family for many years, this new management has made it clear that their direction is pointed towards profit. Obviously that is the goal of any business, but rather than take the time to make the merger work for the long term success of the company, they are pushing pushing pushing to double their $250 million investment within 3 years. To all reasonable people, this is very short term to change a business, and even if it happens, it will sadly not be in the best interest of the company in the long term, nor any of the employees. In fact, just last week they fired 4 existing senior exectutives, including the President of the company, who many looked up to, as he was quite a nice and personable guy, very different from the new management.

In a meeting last week, the Executive Chairman who made the decision to fire these people told us that basically things will be changing a lot, and if we don't like it, then maybe we should look elsewhere for employment. Oh, and by the way, they've stopped given raises, saying that tenure means nothing to them.

So, moving on, I've been looking for a new job. I'm pretty much always looking for a new job, but again, while job hunting, it again becomes clear that Corporate America is evil. I am trying very hard to make my next job better than this one, and am searching for a small company that not only is successful, but actually values their employees. Novel idea, eh? Well, I've interviewed at several places, only once again to find that most jobs offer FIVE, yes FIVE, days vacation per year. Is that absolutely ridiculous or what?

Is something wrong with me, or do other people think the corporate world is so far beyond FUCKED UP? And if most of us think this, than why can't we find other people like us to work for?

Lifes little signs

Did you ever notice that random things or chance encounters seem to happen in a strange yet sensible order? I can't tell you how many times I've learned about something, or picked up some interesting bit of information, only to have it be useful the next day. Or some article or some show that I stumble across, and it will be relevant to something I've recently learned, whereas if I had seen it just a few days prior I wouldn't have even thought twice about it.

I'm at a loss right now as to a good specific example, but I know it's happened many times.

I don't believe in God, but sometimes I wonder if there are little signs or signals guiding us through life, that we just need to learn to pay attention to.

If you know what I mean, or something like this has happened to you, leave a comment. I will try to remember a good example...

And so it ends

Just like it started, the fast is over. I just couldn't stand the crinkling and crunching that I hear all day at work. People eating Halloween candy, opening bags, crunching chips. It got to me. I'm disappointed in myself. Oh well. I am still confident that if I was able to step out of everyday life, I could fast much more successfully, without the temptations and everything that I see and hear every 2 minutes.

Fast Update

Well, I'm on about hour 40 of my fast. I feel like I'm doing better than I've done on each of my previous 2 attempts. The last time I tried to fast I just got so tempted by restaurants and smells that I caved and ate after barely two days. The previous time I made it about 3-4 days, but it was hard because I wasn't eating as healthy, so the pains were a little worse.

This time though, I have to admit, it's been pretty smooth going. No real hunger pains, the biggest noticeable effect is that I'm just very mellow, more so than normal, I kind of want to just lay down, not to sleep but just to relax. I have a little bit of lightheadedness, or maybe just a different sort of awareness.

I've decided that I'm going to call it quits after 80 hours. The biggest problem with fasting in my mind is trying to do it while maintaining a normal life. For instance, I have to work, I have things I need to do on the weekend, and trying to do them while being in the middle of a fast is difficult. Prime example, this weekend I am going to a dinner birthday party, so not being in the middle of a fast will make that more enjoyable. I figure I will reintroduce fruits, vegetables, and juices starting Thursday morning, that way I will be ready for a fairly normal dinner Saturday night.

Fasting makes you realize how much food consumes our everyday life. Seeing restaurants, smelling smells, seeing ads for food, having people ask if you want to join then for a meal... I am convinced that if I went to a retreat or something where these outside temptations were removed, that I could successfully fast for as long as I wanted to. Not that I can't now, but it's pretty impractical to do so and keep up with a normal life.

So why am I fasting? Well, certainly not for religious reasons, as I'm not religious. I guess a little bit could be considered spiritual though. But I think mostly just to test myself and see if I have the will power. I suppose it's a strange way to prove something to yourself, but to me it's a means of conquering myself. Does that make sense? Also, lastly I want to detox my body, though I don't think it needs much detoxing because I am pretty healthy these days.