Dropping knowledge

I've always written about why when we grow up we lose our spontaneity and sense of adventure, and have attributed it to society and the pressure to "grow up" and face the real world. So I found this dialogue quite interesting.

http://www.droppingknowledge.org/bin/posts/focus/4668.page

Real people

I seem to be writing a lot abou my experiences on the bus. But in all honesty it has been intersting. It's been sort of an introduction into the world of normal people who haven't got things made. A majority of the people on there are people who take the bus out of necessity, people who aren't up with the latest fashions; in other words, they are the "other" half of people who represent San Diego. People who I honestly didn't know even existed here.

But of all the people I see, I have to say lately I've grown to have an extreme sense of admiration for the blind people on the bus. Something about appearing to be normal in every other sense, but just not being able to see, is interesting to me. A lot of handicapped people have people who are with them to assist them in getting around, but the blind who I've seen on the bus are alone, or with other blind people. It amazes me that they can be so self sufficient, that they can get on and off the bus, walk down the street without getting hit. Amazing. Blind people have my utmost respect.

new things

I'm fascinated with other cultures, and even people from other places. I'm not sure why, I think it's because I'm a plain white boy with a bland culture and background. Though sometimes I wonder if that's just my perception, that I just think my background is plain because it's mine. I wonder if everyone thinks that.

Anything different I like. For instance, when I was in Italy I tooking to drinking cappuchinos and espresso, in Greece I drank Ouzo like it was going out of style. After I read some Ernest Hemingway, all I wanted to do was drink wine. I love eating Greek food and Mexican food, and would choose it any day over a burger. I read about people visiting Asia and decide I want to drink tea. After our trip to Europe, I decided I wanted to start spending my lunch break at a cafe. (Though I realized the closest you can get here is Starbucks, and it's just NOT the same).

I started thinking this while I was eating a burrito for lunch because a white guy I work with wanted Chinese for lunch, while the Chinese guy I work with went to Subway. Also, I realized how bland my background REALLY is when my dad was out visiting and ate his meals at Subway and Burger Kind, and didn't have any desire to get any sort of food that would differ from his routine.

Now that I type this, I'm not sure whether it's cultures that intrigue me, or just trying new things.

t-shirt i saw on the bus today

"fake titties taste funny"

It was pretty funny.

Characters

During my 8 months or so of riding the bus, I've seen many characters. At first they were just that, random characters who I would see, make a mental note of, and then forget. But now as time has gone by, these once random characters have become more familiar to me. Not that I know them or even talk to them, but I know where and when they get on the bus, where and when they get off, what strange mannerisms they have, whether I believe them to be crazy or not. There are all sorts of people. Some I believe to be heading to work on a similiar schedule to me, some I think are homeless -- maybe because drugs or alcohol have led them there, some maybe because of mental illness, and there are a few who I speculate are homeless because they decided to give society the big middle finger. Some I speculate are or were former drug addicts who may have HIV or AIDS. Some are normal. Some maybe heading to Mexico to bring their cross border families some American goods. And some are just CRAZY.

These random characters are all sorts of people with all sorts of lives, but even though I've never talked to any of them, they each have story, and they each cross my path on a regular basic for a few minutes.

Nothing

I think one of the most under rated activities is doing nothing. And I have to say I'm not very good at it these days. I've been so busy that I find it hard to just sit around when I have down time. I think about how nice it would be to just sit, relax with a book, walk thru the park, or even just catch a good show on TV or a movie, but then when I finally have the time, I end up pacing around my apartment looking for things to do.

I have a strange sort of admiration for homeless people, not crazy homeless people, but people who seem to not have any problem except for not having a home. I know it sounds weird, but I see a few people around downtown San Diego who are appear totally normal, can have normal conversations, are mostly clean, don't smell, but have a big sack on their back. Who knows really, but it seems with these people they may have just "voluntarily" become homeless.

Anyway, I see people, some homeless, some just without agenda, in places like parks, on the bus, walking around, and their just seems to be some peace about them. I want to be able to clear my mind more, and just enjoy walks, books, people watching, and this of that sort ... without feeling like there is something more I should be doing.

Some thinking

I'm currently reading "Breakfast of Champions" by Kurt Vonnegut. It's a great book. The part I read the other morning had this, when talking about the ills of the US:

As I approached my fiftieth birthday, I had become more and more enraged and mystified by the idiot decisions made by my countrymen. And then I had come suddenly to pity them, for I understood how innocent and natural it was for them to behave so abominably, and with such abominable results: They were doing their best to behave like people invented in story books. This was the reason Americans shot each other so often: It was a convenient literary device for ending short stories and books.

Why were so many Americans treated by their government as though their lives were as disposable as paper facial tissues? Because that was the way authors customarily treated bit-part players in their made-up tales.

And so on.

Once I understood what was making America such a dangerous, unhappy nation of people who had nothing to do with real life, I resolved to shun storytelling. I would write about life. Every person would be exactly as important as any other. All facts would also be given equal weightiness. Nothing would be left out. Let others bring order chaos. I would bring chaos to order, instead, which I think I have done.

It got me thinking. I haven't been to too many places outside of the United States, but from what I understand the ghettos in the US are pretty dangerous and are without a doubt places of high crime. At least I would say pretty dangerous for being in what is considered a world superpower country, and a first world place that people who don't live here want to come to to live. Of course it's foolish to think that the ghettos here in the US are more dangerous than other places, obviously there are dangerous places around the world, but there are also some extremely poor places that are, from what I understand, not dangerous or plagued with crime in the least.

Anyway, so what I was thinking was that poor and ghetto aren't necessarily synonomous. Or further to the point, a poor area doesn't necessarily have higher crime rates. So it got me thinking, and now I don't think this is a groundbreaking thought, but I think it's not "poverty" that breeds crime, rather it's "relative poverty," or disparity in living condition.

I don't really know what I'm getting at, but I guess the two points I want to make are:

1. It's sad to me that such a wonderful and powerful country can even have cities where someone like me can't walk down the street without fearing for my life, and

2. The book "Breakfast of Champions" so far puts words and a story to thoughts that pop in and out of my head. It is real a good book so far.

My Resolutions

My resolutions this year are pretty simple.

1. Stay healthy and get back into good shape.

2. Continue to be the best person and husband I can be.

3. Be more foregiving.

4. Be more adventurous, more spontaneous, and less uptight.